Monday, December 11

Jon . . . we were wrong; I don't think I'm afraid.

Mmk, darlin's. I just had one of those formin'-stormin'-normin' talks with some of the folks I hang out with. (Not only can you tell since I just told you outright, but they both talk like that, too; all southerny and comfortable and not what I'm used to.) What I mean by that is that in group dynamics theory, there are stages that every group goes through: forming, storming, norming, and performing. Look it up on wikipoo if you doubt me. Anyway, it is useful to know.

We are all polite human beings and inordinately concerned about each others' feelings, so the forming stage was easy, the storming stage not as bad as it could be and more informative than anything, and the norming is going to surprise all of us in hopefully delightful ways. Most of tonight we just nodded and made noncommittal noises to show we were listening and taking in the new info even if we didn't agree with it or didn't know what to do with it.

And so we are fairly much in the norming stage. Which is nice. I get sick of only ever playing at the first two stages with immature people who flip out when it gets itchy. Not that it happens all that often, but it is hard to get to the third stage when the time spent together amounts to little less than an hour a week (say my flatmates, for example).

And what we chose to talk about was romance. Of all things. In that, we all have widely differing backgrounds, too, which is hilarious fun. I who have never dated, one of them who is about two years out of a four year relationship, and the other who is one year out of an eleven-plus year marriage.

Commitment seems to be a big thing among them and their kind, tied to ideas of casual dating and simply the basis of attraction. They don't talk so much about choice as I would when talking about love (even in general, beyond romance in specific, which is only a tiny itsy part of Love).

Issue number one which I am still thinking about: One of them brought up the point that it was odd if I never "just feel attracted to some guy and think 'hey, I'd like to spend time with that person alone to see what they're like'?" I don't even remember what I said, but I think it had to do with going to extremes (I do go to extremes. I cannot find such a happy medium.). Anyway, I say now: sure. But . . . what's the point?

* * * * *

And now I just finished a long chat conversation in which many things were hashed, mostly relating to casual dating and the nature of love in relation to people you don't know well. Also friendship. So I don't really need to rehash it here to understand myself or anyone else. But it was an interesting conversation, and now I am not going to cram for my Old English final. I shall study it all morning. After breakfast.

Also the nature of love is something that has been keeping me busy for a while, now. It's a pretty interesting subject; showing love in appropriate ways. Very interesting.

Got to go. Morpheus is such a darling.

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