Sunday, June 4

A rant about me and dating.

So my friend was giving me a ride the other day and in the course of our confabulation she remarks that with my romantic sensibilities, I "would just shut the guy down if he was, like; 'Rika, you are so beautiful'".

Does that seem true to you? Some of you will say "OH yeah, that is TotAlLy something you would do" because you can see me sitting with some slightly random acquaintance and not enjoying it a whit.

That's true, I wouldn't enjoy sitting with a poor sucker for an hour over dinner, trying to make conversation about the weather and skiing and what it is like to live in Italy. He wouldn't like it either, if he's an intelligent bloke.

Have I mentioned that I wouldn't date a guy I didn't know and like? Have I mentioned that I wouldn't date anybody I thought didn't know me? Doesn't that seem normal to anybody else? Doesn't everybody tell me I'm hard to get to know? Why does it surprise people that scarce are the men I find myself attracted to!?

It is true that some people have no clue how to go about being attractive and available to me, though. Ugh! (Alas that there are men who read "self-help" and can be found voluntarily perusing the "inspirational" aisle in bookstores. So degrading.) Unfortunately, the few I have met are entirely unavailable; they seem to all be married, sworn to celibacy, dead, fiction, or unchristian (or *nearly* any combination of the above).

Anyway, if I find a single man of large fortune and in want of a wife with whom I can share interests and be friends with--a Christian--then I shall put a yellow sticky note on him labeling him as such so that everyone will know and you can call Ripley's and get his autograph before he dies or becomes a priest or gets married to somebody else, or reveals that he is a Wiccan anarchist with Taoist democratic leanings. Ew.

P.S. If it was a guy I respected enough as a friend, who knew me, then I could accept the compliment without fear of reprisal, and deliver my thanks. I have been known to do so. However, it seems that people only see me as going out with friends of friends or lonely single guys they know. I wouldn't go out with somebody as a pity-date; that's insulting to both parties.


leibniz said...

ah, but i understand you well. i was something of a kindred spirit, it seems; 'twas rare to find a woman in whom i was interested and could find available with similar reponse. even in the driest of dating spells, however, the advances of "non-candidates" made me most uncomfortable.

there's something about knowing and being known - it is a rare and rich treasure. i've no doubt that you'll reciprocate quickly and warmly when it finds you!

fond wishes,

Honeybee said...
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Honeybee said...

You seem completely normal to me. I have similar problems with finding someone I can connect with intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. Most of the guys that approach me see the outer shell and assume I am some dim-witted "free" woman, if you know what I mean. I have learned to be happy on my own and if/when I come across a man that sees the inner-me I will embrace him with an open heart. You are a vibrant woman with a good head on your shoulders, I agree with you and applaud you for not lowering your standards.


The Quill said...

I figure that when God is ready for you to find The Proper Gentleman, he will let you know. And The Gentleman will surprise you, understand you, and be utterly ecstatic and amazed that you have waited so long for him.

Until then, I see you enjoying your scholastic life, monastic life, or whatever life you wish to lead. :-) You are you, and who you are is absolutely wonderful.

All that being said, I'll keep a sticky-pad in my wallet and and eye open for you. :-D

Friend for life said...
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